Ready for Love: Game of Love
Are You Actually Prepared for Marriage?
The honest assessment most Catholics never take—until it’s too late.
A client once told me, “I keep waiting to feel ready.”
I asked her, “Ready for what—perfection?”
She laughed. And that’s when the real work began.
Here’s the uncomfortable truth: most people don’t know if they’re actually ready for marriage. They know they want it. They know they’re praying for it. But wanting something and being prepared for it are two very different things.
The Question Nobody Asks
The Catechism is direct: “So that the ‘I do’ of the spouses may be a free and responsible act and so that the marriage covenant may have solid and lasting human and Christian foundations, preparation for marriage is of prime importance” (CCC 1632).
Prime importance. Not “nice to have.” Not “something to squeeze in during engagement.” Prime importance.
But here’s what happens in most Catholic circles: you date, you fall in love, you get engaged, and then you do six months of marriage prep. By that point, you’ve already made the decision. The wedding is booked. The dress is bought. Marriage prep becomes a box to check, not a genuine discernment.
What if you assessed your readiness before you got serious with someone?
What “Ready” Actually Means
The Ready for Love Inventory evaluates eight dimensions of marriage preparation. Not whether you’ve found the right person—whether you’ve become the kind of person who can build a lasting marriage.
Self-Possession — Do you know who you are apart from a relationship? Can you stand on your own, or are you looking for someone to complete you?
Emotional Health — Have you done the work on your wounds? Can you regulate your emotions, or do they run the show?
Spiritual Foundation — Is your faith your own, or inherited? Do you have a living relationship with Christ that doesn’t depend on a spouse?
Family of Origin — Have you examined how your upbringing shaped you? The patterns you’re repeating? The wounds you’re carrying?
Financial Stability — Are you responsible with money? Do you have a plan, or are you hoping marriage will sort it out?
Relational Skills — Can you communicate, resolve conflict, and repair after arguments? These skills don’t magically appear at the altar.
Vocation Clarity — Have you genuinely discerned marriage as your calling, or is it just the default?
Life Readiness — Are the practical pieces in place? Career stability, living situation, support systems?
The Scores That Surprise People
I’ve seen confident, faith-filled Catholics take this assessment and discover significant gaps they’d never considered.
One man realized his “spiritual foundation” score was built entirely on his family’s faith—he’d never developed his own prayer life. Another woman discovered her financial habits were a disaster waiting to happen. A third recognized that she’d never actually processed her parents’ divorce and was unconsciously terrified of commitment.
None of these are disqualifiers. All of them are information.
The Church teaches that “the example and teaching given by parents and families remain the special form of this preparation” (CCC 1632). But what happens when that example was broken? When your family of origin didn’t model healthy marriage? You need to do the work yourself—consciously, intentionally.
Why Take This Before Dating Seriously
Here’s my countercultural suggestion: take the Ready for Love Inventory before you start dating with intention. Not after you’ve met someone. Not when you’re already emotionally invested.
Why? Because clarity changes everything.
If you know your weak areas, you can work on them. If you know your strengths, you can lead with them. If you discover you’re not ready yet, you can spend your single season preparing instead of desperately searching.
One client took the assessment and realized she needed another year of therapy before she’d be ready for a healthy relationship. It was hard to hear. But eighteen months later, she met her husband—and she was actually ready for him.
The Gift of Honest Feedback
The Ready for Love Inventory doesn’t just give you scores. It gives you Katie’s Insights—compassionate but direct feedback on each area, with specific steps for growth.
Because knowing your gaps isn’t enough. You need a path forward.
As the Church reminds us, “Like every other living reality, the family too is called upon to develop and grow” (Familiaris Consortio). That growth starts before the wedding day.
Practical Katie’s Insights
Readiness isn’t a feeling. It’s a foundation. And foundations can be built.
Your next step: Take the Ready for Love Inventory. Answer honestly—not how you wish you were, but how you actually are. Then look at your lowest-scoring area and ask: What’s one thing I can do this month to grow here?
You’re not behind. You’re preparing. And intentional preparation is the most loving thing you can do for your future spouse—even if you haven’t met them yet.
The Ready for Love Inventory is available with a Game of Love premium account at gameof.love.